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Okay, here are some nice quotes/lines I know:

The average woman has nothing to wear, and not enough closet to put all her clothes in

They should give clothes a "valid until" date
That way, my wife knows if she's out of fashion

Wake-up excersise is doing things you'll be able to do later the same day, if you don't do them

A women is like hunny, it's very tastefull, very attractive and almost unresistable

Money doesn't grow on trees, it's made from them

I'd love to have a change to prove money doesn't make you happy

Money doesn't make you happy, but you're happy they make money!

Remember, if we see you smoke in a non-smoking area, we'll assume you're on fire and take appropriate actions

The more I get to know people, the more I learn to love (the simplicity) of my computer

If you burn your butt, be happy you weren't looking 180 degrees the other way

At MS, it makes sense to hit start to stop

Every idiot can complain, say how it should be done, tell you you're stupid.
Most of'em will do just that

The difference between you and me? I got salary left at the end of the month, you got month left at the end of your salary

Everything that goes up, must come down. (Except my weight)

It's hard to define where one generation stops, and the other starts. Usually, it's between 10 and 11 PM

Crazyness is genetical.... you get it from your kiddo's

In the morning I can't eat because of my love for you
In the afternoon I can't eat because of my love for you
In the evening I can't eat because of my love for you
At night I can't sleep
Because I'm hungry

As long as my boss acts as if I'm getting paid enough, I act as if I'm working

The home-docter knows a bit about a lot
The specialist knews a lot about a bit
I'm a genious!:
I know nothing, about everything!

I won't fart if you don't smoke. If you smoke, there'll be a compromise between two smells

The best cure for speeding is a rearviewmirror
With a police-car in it

I'd love to be a vulcano:
I'd be able to smoke all day and everyone would say "look, it's working!"

I'm the boss at home! (As long as my wife's okay with it)

It's okay to give a baby breast food... as long as I get my share