10 replies to this topic

[Scuba]

Corporate Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as
his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife
quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word,
Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman
wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the
bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door
neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her
legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest
removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further
up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.


Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one
wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's
gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're
up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two
back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit
asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The
crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very high up.


Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. I would love to be able to
Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the
bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there.

[Sphere]

o so true

[m.oreilly]

very good scuba, very good indeed

[chriso_86]

LOL, those are all really really good!! Thanks buddy!!

[HybridShadow]

They are really funny, well made and true!

[Nvyseal]

very good

[chriso_86]

I sent these to my boss and he loved them!!!!! hehehe

[godless]

very funny

[Christopholofigus]

Great stories! Thx

[Scuba]

Any time. Ill try and keep the funny stuff comming in.

[bluerip]

Loved them! #5 killed me

I must print these and pass them on. Thanx!