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How to save a life in the south


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#1 Scuba

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 04:21 AM

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.


One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!' :christo:

Edited by Scuba, 14 February 2008 - 04:22 AM.


#2 Roadrunner

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 04:31 AM

Q: What's the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral?
A: There's one less drunk at the funeral.


#3 VoodooGuru

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 05:55 AM

Q: How do hillbillies celebrate Halloween?

A: They pump kin

Did you hear about the hillbilly that didn't know the difference between window putty and K-Y jelly?

His windows fell out.

#4 Scuba

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 04:03 AM

View PostVoodooGuru, on Feb 13 2008, 11:55 PM, said:

Q: How do hillbillies celebrate Halloween?

A: They pump kin
:christo:
Oh man, That one took me a second, then it hit me. Twisted and funny, I like! :)

#5 talker

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Posted 15 February 2008 - 09:33 PM

Now all we need is a picture of a rather large woman in sponge rollers wearing a flower print mumu in front of a house trailer that has been destroyed by a tornado. A perfect ending...talker. :christo:

#6 TheBearLT

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Posted 16 February 2008 - 11:17 AM

Wow :christo: I don't get the point of these jokes.. =/

Ok, Lets take for example.. Dunkan Maclaud was hillbilly..
So what is funny about him for example :) ?

Probably this is Cultural humor which should be explained

#7 Scuba

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Posted 16 February 2008 - 03:17 PM

View PostTheBearLT, on Feb 16 2008, 05:17 AM, said:

Wow :christo: I don't get the point of these jokes.. =/

Ok, Lets take for example.. Dunkan Maclaud was hillbilly..
So what is funny about him for example :) ?

Probably this is Cultural humor which should be explained


It is stupic cultural humor. If you want a better understanding just watch the movie "Deliverance" and you should get a better understanding of why we pick on the hillbillys.

#8 TheBearLT

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Posted 16 February 2008 - 04:34 PM

View PostScuba, on Feb 16 2008, 05:17 PM, said:

It is stupic cultural humor. If you want a better understanding just watch the movie "Deliverance" and you should get a better understanding of why we pick on the hillbillys.

Deliverance 1972 ?

#9 m.oreilly

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Posted 16 February 2008 - 05:27 PM

View PostTheBearLT, on Feb 16 2008, 03:17 AM, said:

...Dunkan Maclaud was hillbilly..

Posted Image

:christo:




Posted Image
i think he's too high falutin' to be a hillbilly

#10 Roadrunner

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Posted 17 February 2008 - 03:17 AM

View PostTheBearLT, on Feb 16 2008, 08:34 AM, said:

Deliverance 1972 ?



Yep- that's the one--

Sooooooeeeeeeee!!!

Edited by Roadrunner, 17 February 2008 - 03:26 AM.


#11 Roadrunner

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Posted 17 February 2008 - 03:33 AM

But this is my favorite scene from the movie-- it really has some good playing,, and shows the hillbilly stereotype pretty good.



(I think that's Mo up on the porch)

Edited by Roadrunner, 17 February 2008 - 03:38 AM.


#12 Scuba

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Posted 18 February 2008 - 04:37 AM

View PostRoadrunner, on Feb 16 2008, 09:33 PM, said:

But this is my favorite scene from the movie-- it really has some good playing,, and shows the hillbilly stereotype pretty good.



(I think that's Mo up on the porch)
:roadrunner:
Good looks and talented, Boy Mo you sure dun make sum wooman happy :storm:

#13 talker

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Posted 18 February 2008 - 05:07 AM

View PostScuba, on Feb 17 2008, 10:37 PM, said:

:roadrunner:
Good looks and talented, Boy Mo you sure dun make sum wooman happy :RJsPC:

Yeah, but Mo won't put down the banjer long enough to worry 'bout no wooman... :storm:

#14 m.oreilly

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Posted 18 February 2008 - 05:25 AM

View Posttalker, on Feb 17 2008, 09:07 PM, said:

Yeah, but Mo won't put down the banjer long enough to worry 'bout no wooman... :storm:

:roadrunner:

'sept maybe a hind lick or two...

#15 talker

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Posted 18 February 2008 - 01:06 PM

View Postm.oreilly, on Feb 17 2008, 11:25 PM, said:

:storm:

'sept maybe a hind lick or two...

Mo and a hind lick, a visual image that I could have, perhaps, gone a lifetime without conjouring...sigh...talker. :RJsPC: :roadrunner:

Edited by talker, 18 February 2008 - 05:15 PM.





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